Like him, Laura finds herself wanting to deny that Raylan was anything more to her; the word somehow too meaningful and beyond what she's capable of seeing in people.But then Sweeney has to mention what she sort of already knew and suddenly there was a desire to hide from him and any emotion that threatened to give away how she was truly feeling. The last thing she wants to do is look vulnerable.
In the end, she's thankful it's not him. Things would be so much worse if it was.
Once he'd stops moving, Laura settles against him, the side of her face pressed softly against the top part of his chest. A momentary silence falls and finally she looks up.
"The shittiest part is that I'm pretty sure he doesn't plan to come back," Laura says quietly. The notion makes her a little angry because then Raylan lied. At which point, she wonders if she's an idiot for letting herself hurt for someone who told her something that wasn't true because it made leaving easier.
Sweeney doesn't answer right away, stealing a moment for a slow breath. He wants to tell her that worry is unfounded, that of course Raylan intends to come back--that he will be back. But that's a lie, or at least a sugar-coasted fairytale, and one not meant for her consumption.
"I don't know," he whispers, in empathy, not counter. "Either way, I think he doesn't wanna hurt you, e'en though he knew he would. Did." Even with him still here, part of him was already missing. It'd been that way with Tiffany too, when she'd said she was leaving. Sweeney nuzzles into her hair.
"I know, it dunn't make it hurt less." A lull hangs. Now what? He does his best.
"I'm not sure either of us know what we need, but I'm plannin' ta stay like this 'til we got another idea." Or they get hungry or something. But he's willing to skip work for her, if he happens to be here that long.
Laura knows Raylan wouldn't want to hurt her. She also knows that his reasons are solid enough and she's the one being selfish by wanting him to stay. Of course, it wouldn't be just for her. There were others who he meant something to, perhaps more than she can comprehend because he's a first for her. As reluctant as she was towards that idea.
She listens to his voice through his chest and runs through all the things she wants to do aside from be upset and let rage build inside her over not being able to control how she feels about Raylan leaving. As far as she's concerned, he's gone. He disappeared the moment she closed the door behind him once he'd taken his leave.
How many times is it fair to draw out a good-bye?
"I don't want to give myself any reason to think about it anymore," she replies a moment later, her tone evident with twinge of ire and defiance. Her hand smooths up under his over-shirt and fingers curl over one shoulder before wrapping around the side of his neck. She looks up at him. "Can you help me with that?"
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In the end, she's thankful it's not him. Things would be so much worse if it was.
Once he'd stops moving, Laura settles against him, the side of her face pressed softly against the top part of his chest. A momentary silence falls and finally she looks up.
"The shittiest part is that I'm pretty sure he doesn't plan to come back," Laura says quietly. The notion makes her a little angry because then Raylan lied. At which point, she wonders if she's an idiot for letting herself hurt for someone who told her something that wasn't true because it made leaving easier.
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"I don't know," he whispers, in empathy, not counter. "Either way, I think he doesn't wanna hurt you, e'en though he knew he would. Did." Even with him still here, part of him was already missing. It'd been that way with Tiffany too, when she'd said she was leaving. Sweeney nuzzles into her hair.
"I know, it dunn't make it hurt less." A lull hangs. Now what? He does his best.
"I'm not sure either of us know what we need, but I'm plannin' ta stay like this 'til we got another idea." Or they get hungry or something. But he's willing to skip work for her, if he happens to be here that long.
"As long as ya like."
no subject
She listens to his voice through his chest and runs through all the things she wants to do aside from be upset and let rage build inside her over not being able to control how she feels about Raylan leaving. As far as she's concerned, he's gone. He disappeared the moment she closed the door behind him once he'd taken his leave.
How many times is it fair to draw out a good-bye?
"I don't want to give myself any reason to think about it anymore," she replies a moment later, her tone evident with twinge of ire and defiance. Her hand smooths up under his over-shirt and fingers curl over one shoulder before wrapping around the side of his neck. She looks up at him. "Can you help me with that?"