[ whoa that's quite the start. but then over text, she can't say she's surprised. how the fuck did her words get misconstrued as insincere? and why does it feel like he needs to come at her with two guns blazing? ]
No? How you greeted each other says otherwise. She apparently means something to you. More than what Annie is to you because you didn't look at her the same way as you did her.
are things complicated with us? i feel like we reached a comfortable understanding after the memory and psychedelic bug floods. things feel different now that you've talked to her. the way you're talking to me now is different.
if it's nothing, fine. why was she wearing your ring?
She's spent the better part of two hours pacing and smoking and fiddling with the ring on her finger, spinning it around and around, leaving a faint red mark from doing it continuously. And when the knock on the door sounds, Laura spends a few seconds staring at the door before finally getting up and answering it.
Knowing his visit wasn't going to be the kind it usually is, she opts for a simple pair of faded blue jeans, a tank top and a cardigan that was a couple of sizes too big for her; her hair draped over her shoulders in loose curls.
"Hey," Laura greets quietly, offering a small smile before ducking her head and opening the door wider for him to come through. "Come in."
The smile is nice and, honestly, a welcome surprise. It's answered in kind. While he knows this is still likely to suck in some places and may end up with him kicked out into the hall, at least she wasn't coming out swinging. He makes sure the door is closed, lingering only a few steps inside while waiting for her to decide where she wants to physically have the conversation.
"You want me ta start, or you wanna ask questions?"
It's a sincere sentiment; she'd already bristled at him trying to get ahead of things, and he's trying not to make the same mistake. Sweeney's confident there are plenty of new ones to make instead.
Ironically, coming out swinging wasn't really on her mind. Asking questions, yes, but that went without saying. He knew that was possible enough to come forward first. Had he not, she'd have found a way to inquire about the pretty blonde woman that touched the screen in an attempt for more than just a verbal connection.
Laura makes her way back to the side of the couch she normally sits, allowing him the other, if he wants it. She shakes her head.
"No, I'm okay with listening. If something comes up, I'll ask, if that's okay," she answers, reaching for her pack of cigarettes. This will be somewhere in the tenth or twelfth she's had since he'd called a couple of hours prior.
He's normally one to stand, if only so he can pace or comfortably keep his hands in his pockets. But Sweeney gets the feeling that if he does, it will only compound the discomfort, so takes a seat on the other side of the couch and turns to face her.
"She was the second person I met when I got here." In the purest sense of actual conversation.
"She an' Tiff were the ones that made sure I understood how things worked. Who wanted ta get ta..." He isn't sure of the word he's looking for, so he picks something he feels is close enough. "...know me. Have a conversation that lasted longer than it takes ta order two beers."
Sweeney pauses, but it's clear it's only to allow her to interject if she wants to; he's willing to continue if she doesn't.
It is a bit of a relief that he does sit, not for her but for him and the feeling that if he didn't, there would be a tennis match in her living room when the pacing started. There was also the feeling that he wouldn't rush through things by sitting, which she appreciates. When he turns to face her, she shifts to face him more.
She listens, not recognizing the other woman's name either but nods in understanding regardless. There will be no interjection from her or any comments. Laura nods, lightly urging him to continue.
She's doing her best not to react to anything, much less to the part where they got closer. To her, it wasn't the ones you were sexual with that weren't the danger. It was the ones that were able to get into a person's heart and make a difference that was the danger. She'd been able to spot those ones a mile off and they were the ones she used to avoid at all cost.
She keeps her expression schooled into mild interest. Laura busies herself with lighting up a cigarette, wincing at the thick ribbon of smoke that comes off the end.
"Was she a warden?" Her guess is yes. There was some unwritten rule for some, like Maggie, who wouldn't sleep with inmates. Some sort of conflict of interest situation, if one should arise.
Sweeney watches her light the cigarette, licking his lip in the phantom longing for the taste. But he errs against lighting his own, feeling it might complicate the conversation somehow. He isn't sure why, but he doesn't have a lot of extra energy for reflecting at the moment.
He assumes she asked for a reason, probably one related to fucking. As such, he let's the quiet settle again, in case she has a follow up.
The question was for clarification and she nods, knowing that he knew why she asked. She decides that she needs to hear more, even if there is a question burning at the edges of her mind to ask. It occurs to her that by getting closer, he felt he could trust her with certain information. Namely, her, which doesn't seem very fair, overall. How much did she know? How much of her past is being unfairly judged?
Laura takes another drag, and she leans forward, her right thumb slowly starting to spin the ring on her index finger. She peers up at him, curious if that was all he had to say.
Ok then. Sweeney guesses that means the ball's back in his court. Great.
"That wasn't the only reason." It's a little difficult to admit, but it's clear he's making the effort, for her. He'd very much like to move past this particular topic, if only because there's very little to say on it in regards to what actually happened between the two of them. But he also knows if he pushes past it, it's likely to get Laura's hackles up.
"She wasn't lookin' fer that kind of relationship." He wets his lips.
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It alright if we start it here?
I just
I didn't want to wait.
[But I have so little time with her.]
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Sure.
I'm not taking you away from your conversation, am I?
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I may never see her again, and I'm spending the time trying to be open about shit with you.
Do you think I'd do that lightly?
I give a shit about clearing things up.
Helping you understand
Cause I know how they might look, and it isn't like that.
[But I understand if it's not enough. I'm starting to think I might not be.]
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No? How you greeted each other says otherwise. She apparently means something to you. More than what Annie is to you because you didn't look at her the same way as you did her.
Who is she?
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She's the person who took care of me. Kept me safe from myself.
I didn't have a warden for a long time. She helped me navigate being here. Surviving here.
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[ there was no convincing her now that it wasn't more. at least on his end. ]
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And I said that because I know shit is complicated with us, and I didn't want you be stuck thinking her and me are something we aren't.
I've never kissed her or fucked her or washed her hair.
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are things complicated with us? i feel like we reached a comfortable understanding after the memory and psychedelic bug floods. things feel different now that you've talked to her. the way you're talking to me now is different.
if it's nothing, fine. why was she wearing your ring?
[ did he think she wouldn't notice? ]
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It's how I can tell it's her and not me hallucinating.
I thought things were complicated cause the way you left after Raylan came in.
[Because it sure as fuck felt that way.]
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look, it's none of my business who she is or what she is to you on a deeper level. I'm sorry you felt like you had to explain.
[ because at the end of the day, that is one person who she has no right to know about and he's making that abundantly clear. ]
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Are you willing to see me?
Or do you want me to let this lie?
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[ that's what she wanted from the beginning. ]
tell me where.
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[She'd asked for more than that after the whole Raylan thing, so he doesn't think it's an unfair request.]
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At her cabin
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Knowing his visit wasn't going to be the kind it usually is, she opts for a simple pair of faded blue jeans, a tank top and a cardigan that was a couple of sizes too big for her; her hair draped over her shoulders in loose curls.
"Hey," Laura greets quietly, offering a small smile before ducking her head and opening the door wider for him to come through. "Come in."
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The smile is nice and, honestly, a welcome surprise. It's answered in kind. While he knows this is still likely to suck in some places and may end up with him kicked out into the hall, at least she wasn't coming out swinging. He makes sure the door is closed, lingering only a few steps inside while waiting for her to decide where she wants to physically have the conversation.
"You want me ta start, or you wanna ask questions?"
It's a sincere sentiment; she'd already bristled at him trying to get ahead of things, and he's trying not to make the same mistake. Sweeney's confident there are plenty of new ones to make instead.
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Laura makes her way back to the side of the couch she normally sits, allowing him the other, if he wants it. She shakes her head.
"No, I'm okay with listening. If something comes up, I'll ask, if that's okay," she answers, reaching for her pack of cigarettes. This will be somewhere in the tenth or twelfth she's had since he'd called a couple of hours prior.
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"She was the second person I met when I got here." In the purest sense of actual conversation.
"She an' Tiff were the ones that made sure I understood how things worked. Who wanted ta get ta..." He isn't sure of the word he's looking for, so he picks something he feels is close enough. "...know me. Have a conversation that lasted longer than it takes ta order two beers."
Sweeney pauses, but it's clear it's only to allow her to interject if she wants to; he's willing to continue if she doesn't.
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She listens, not recognizing the other woman's name either but nods in understanding regardless. There will be no interjection from her or any comments. Laura nods, lightly urging him to continue.
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"I dunno. Just...o'er time an' endless bullshit, we got closer." That's not a great way to put it, is it?
"I'd ne'er really had that with a woman who I wasn't fuckin'." He goes out of his way to clarify in no uncertain terms.
"Who'd made it perfectly clear from our first talk that she wasn't interested in that sorta thing. An' wouldn't be."
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She keeps her expression schooled into mild interest. Laura busies herself with lighting up a cigarette, wincing at the thick ribbon of smoke that comes off the end.
"Was she a warden?" Her guess is yes. There was some unwritten rule for some, like Maggie, who wouldn't sleep with inmates. Some sort of conflict of interest situation, if one should arise.
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Sweeney watches her light the cigarette, licking his lip in the phantom longing for the taste. But he errs against lighting his own, feeling it might complicate the conversation somehow. He isn't sure why, but he doesn't have a lot of extra energy for reflecting at the moment.
He assumes she asked for a reason, probably one related to fucking. As such, he let's the quiet settle again, in case she has a follow up.
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Laura takes another drag, and she leans forward, her right thumb slowly starting to spin the ring on her index finger. She peers up at him, curious if that was all he had to say.
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"That wasn't the only reason." It's a little difficult to admit, but it's clear he's making the effort, for her. He'd very much like to move past this particular topic, if only because there's very little to say on it in regards to what actually happened between the two of them. But he also knows if he pushes past it, it's likely to get Laura's hackles up.
"She wasn't lookin' fer that kind of relationship." He wets his lips.
"'s far as I'm aware, she still isn't."
And that's the truth.
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